Tomorrow is my husband’s 28th birthday. He works nights as a police officer. He almost never has a weekend off for his birthday. He has today and tomorrow off. My boss let me have Friday off. We get to spend *all* Thursday evening together, all day Friday and all morning and afternoon on Saturday. It is basically like a three day weekend together in my book <3.
We went out to Ruby’s Tuesday for his birthday dinner of choice. He ordered a full rack of ribs, shrimp, mashed cauliflower, onion rings and mango lemonade. And…I shamefully ordered a bacon cheeseburger, french fries, onion rings and peach ice tea.
I was craving meat soooo badly. It felt so good to have meat between my teeth. Chewing/eating/tasting meat brought me great pleasure. All on a wheat bun. The inflammation, cramping and pain started almost instantly. Reality check. My hands hurt as I type this, but I feel like I need to write about today. Now.
We had a heart to heart about my autoimmune disease and how it *can* be controlled by my diet. No meds.
I talked about the obstacles I faced as a vegan (I was vegan and gluten free for a month).
- Social events. Everything revolved around food. Dinners at mom’s. Birthday parties. Super bowl parties. Potlucks. Dinners at restaurants. Truth be told, I couldn’t eat anything except a dang salad, hold the cheese and egg. With an oil based dressing.
- Expense. It is sooo expensive to eat specialty foods. And to eat fresh food.
- Cravings. I crave meat. Not just the taste of it, but the feel of it between my teeth.
- Exercise. As a vegan, I struggled to get in enough calories. I would drink lots of soy milk, eat rice and nuts to fill the gaps. I also barely met my daily protein requirements. There was no way I would be able to sustain an hour of cardio at the gym on a vegan diet. I know there are vegan athletes and I just need to do more homework on meal plans & work outs.
After much discussion/whining. I decided that my health should be worth it. I’m not a food addict. The quality of my life shouldn’t be so heavily based on what I can and cannot eat. I need to make a choice and I know that it needs to be a lifestyle, not a cycle of vegan-vegetarian-carnivore-vegetarian-vegan diet.
Tomorrow is the start of my biggest change in life. A life where I know I will struggle to eat a vegan & gluten free diet. I will turn to prayer and ask God to help me through my cravings. And if I mess up, I will pray that God will help me get over it. That I won’t turn it into a huge meat binge. Pray that I will get be able to move on and try to make the next choice time.
I’m going to start a count down of how many days I can do with sticking to my new lifestyle. I will celebrate at each milestone. My first reward will be at 30 days. 60 days. 100 days. 300 days. 365 days. Oh my…my goals always become a bit wild and overly ambitious. But I will am for 30 days and go from there. I trust God will get me through this. I trust God will keep my honest when I’m blogging about my progress/struggles.
After dinner, we came back home. Since my hands were inflamed from my dinner, my husband helped me bake a chocolate cake. I basically did all the light work. Measuring and pouring items into the mixing bowl. He did all the mixing and cleaning. In the past, I’ve broken many dishes when I tried to clean with inflamed hands.
We sat outside and I gave him his surprise birthday present, Arturo Fuente Gran Reserva cigar. He enjoys cigars on special occasions and I knew he was not expecting anything since we’re getting him a new saxaphone as a birthday present.
Tomorrow, were going to catch a 10am matinee of Avengers 3D. Have lunch at The Cookie Jar, I’m packing a vegan and gluten-free lunch. He will enjoy the chocolate cake we made tonight. And I will enjoy a spicy chocolate bar (vegan :D).
Saturday, we have a birthday dinner at his parents’ house. Roast beef, potatoes, other side dishes and CHOCOLATE SILK PIE. My favorite. I will pack my own dinner. This will just have to become the norm if I want to be committed to my health.
